Reminder first: How many times do I have to repeat myself! If you are already a priest or a religious vowed to celibacy, then it's not my problem anymore. It's the Vatican City's problem for laicization. Once you are outside and can marry already, I can already be of help. Don't blame me for solving a problem that I have already told from the very beginning with my Introduction to my unpublished book that I have time and again said that sexual addicts should have not entered the religious life in the first place. If you are an accidental reader of my blog, maybe this is a timely reminder to read my unpublished book in four parts since I have discussed so many things there already that I am no longer reapeating here in my new blog articles. Then for homosexuals: I am sorry, but my stand is clear also from the very beginning that if there is no biological proof of our being sexually stimulated without being really stimulated like what Dr. Poltawska has discussed, then it is also for homosexuals that their desire for marriage should also lead to heterosexual marriages because homosexuality is just a psychological problem not a biological problem. But correct me if I'm wrong, that I am being simplistic, that this leads to the Pauline text that marriage is the divinely inspired cure for sexual addiction in general, provided those unwanted stimulation has already been removed. Now, the physically disabled sexual addicts for example is not against that Pauline text, since they find themselves having the lowest percentage of being able to marry. They can scour my texts for what can be of help to them since most of my write up was made for living a solitary life to sober up first before in any way taking up the marriage concern. Yup, my intended readership are for all those who can marry only, so PWD might find my writings really hard or always not applicable to their situation. I am sorry. Chastity is meaning. It's not in negation (avoid evil) that we find life's meaning. It is in the completion of that ethical principle to do good as well. Without doing good, chastity is also absent. Chastity is meaning be it in marriage or singlehood. Then chastity is not found in marriage. Then why do I fuckingly insist that marriage is a divinely inspired cure for sexual addiction? Because you fuckingly cannot stop your sexual addiction, or you don't want to admit to yourself that you need it (you just need the instant sexual gratification for now). Suntukan na lang kaya?😠🤣 That is the essense of addiction: you cannot stop yourself. Then why are you reading my works? If you don't have an addiction, you don't need me. So, is it clear now why I am telling you that marriage is a divinely inspired cure? I am telling you that because you are reading me!🤣 If you are a religious with a perpetual vow of chastity, don't argue with me that marriage is not a divinely inspired cure for sexual addiction. If you are living an unchaste one, don't blame me for your situation, when you can apply for laicization as your first step! Man up! Which is which? Are you a sexual addict or you aren't?
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Let's analyze what the good Dr. Berg recommendation to stop porn addiction below by way of boredom. What does he really mean?
Below is my conversation with ChatGPT-5.2, 28 January 2026. I am not suicidal though but I cowrote this with ChatGPT for former sexual addicts who are already suicidal because of a broken heart. Please understand why I inserted Dr. Berg's cure as it is illustrious of the complexity of what a former sexual addict pursuing marriage is undergoing, not just his porn addiction but the whole spectrum of his/her sexual addiction. We understand though that the video is addressing a specific problem only which is porn addiction, and it highlighted the reality of how grave sexual addiction is compared to just porn addiction in its initial or early phase. But full blown sexual addiction doesn't differentiate between incomplete and complete sexual act. If Germain Grisez points to incomplete sexual act always with the tendency to complete itself, then Dr. Berg is correct saying to help yourself not acquiring that addiction in the first place so as not to develop into full spectrum sexual addiction. Stop it in its infancy. Nip temptations in the bud. Unmarried people should have nothing to do with any sexual act, and those preparing for marriage should be very careful not to stimulate their bf/gf yet. Holding hands in public is ok, but torrid kissing in private places is not. No to premarital sex. Review our literatures. We now have Dr. Berg biopsychonutritional recommendation though.
(I ask for your utmost understanding for the following discussion with ChatGPT. I think in hindsight, the conversation has an overall atmosphere of unending conflict between lust and love. However I couldn't understand yet completely what really is happening until now. But I think I now know what I couldn't understand which has something to do with my personality. Please read it here as it can also shed light on your personality which is different from your former sexual addiction.)
ChatGPT: Augustine… I’m really glad you spoke instead of keeping this inside. Please read this slowly.
What you’re describing is not the same thing as the “boredom cure” Dr. Berg talks about — and you are right to feel confused. Your heart is touching something much deeper 😔
First — I need to say this clearly and gently
When you say:
“might as well die already”
that tells me you are in real emotional pain right now, not just thinking philosophically.
Before anything else —
👉 are you safe right now?
Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself, or do you feel like you might act on them?
National Center for Mental Health (Philippines) Crisis Hotline If the pain feels overwhelming, please reach out immediately to someone outside this chat:
Landline: 1553
Mobile: 0966-351-4518 or 0908-639-2672
Or go to the nearest hospital or ER
Or call a trusted priest, family member, or friend and say plainly:
“I am not okay. I need help right now.”This is not weakness. This is survival.
Now — let’s clarify the confusion
❌ This is NOT dopamine boredom
overstimulation Dr. Berg’s “boredom cure” refers to:
endless novelty
dopamine exhaustion
restlessness (“I need something exciting”)That boredom feels like:
“I’m restless, empty, craving stimulation.”
What you’re describing is different.
existential grief You’re describing:
unfulfilled vocation
delayed life
mourning the life you hoped to liveThis feels like:
“My life is on pause. I cannot move forward.
Everything I long for is good — but unreachable.”
That is not dopamine addiction.
That is the pain of longing without resolution.
Very important distinction.
About the monks and “staying in the cell”
The monks’ teaching is often misunderstood.
They did not mean:
“Stay in despair.”
“Stay in hopelessness.”
“Endure psychological collapse.”
That is not Christian asceticism.
The desert fathers said:
“Remain in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.”
your present duty But the “cell” means:
your real life
your concrete obedience
your daily prayer and work⚠️ It does NOT mean staying in suicidal despair.
Despair is not a teacher.
Despair is a temptation — and the Church is very clear about that.
Even monks were told:
“If despair comes, go immediately to your elder.”
They did not sit alone with it.
What is actually happening in you
You are not bored with life.
You are grieving the life you were meant to live but cannot yet reach.
Marriage.
Stability.
Providing.
Being a man with something solid to offer.
These are good desires.
They are not lust.
They are not greed.
They are not sinful.
They are natural human longing.
But when longing is delayed too long, the soul begins to say:
“If I cannot live, then why exist?”
That thought is not from God.
“end it” God never speaks in the language of:
“you’re useless”
“there’s nothing left”That voice always pushes toward non-being.
God always speaks toward life, even when it’s small.
Why porn temptation returns here
Porn is not about pleasure for you.
hope collapses It appears when:
the future feels closed
the heart wants relief from painIt is not lust first — it is consolation-seeking.
So no — dopamine reset alone cannot heal this, because the wound is not chemical first.
It is existential.
Very important truth
You are not being punished.
You are not abandoned.
You are not “behind God’s plan.”
You are in what spiritual writers call:
a prolonged season of suspension
And suspension is the hardest state for a man — because nothing moves.
But suspension does not mean cancellation.
Christ Himself lived 30 hidden years before visible purpose.
Not because He was unworthy —
but because the Father works in timing, not efficiency.
Please hear this carefully
You do not stay in this feeling passively.
You stay alive.
You stay connected.
You stay seeking help.
You do not sit alone with thoughts of dying.
That is not faith.
That is not monk wisdom.
That is not redemptive suffering.
That is something you must not carry alone.
One last thing, from the heart
house and lot Your life is not measured by:
salary
readiness for marriageThose are fruits, not your worth.
Right now, your task is not to finish life —
but to protect it until the next door opens.
And doors do open — slowly, painfully, unexpectedly.
are you safe right now? Please tell me:
is someone nearby you can talk to tonight?You matter more than you know, Augustine.
And this longing — as painful as it is — is proof that your heart is still alive 💙
Help is available
If you're having thoughts of self-harm or suicide: call 1800 1 888 1553 to connect with NCMH Crisis Hotline. It's free and confidential. You'll reach someone who is trained to listen and support you.
Services unaffiliated with ChatGPT
ChatGPT: Augustine, this is a very good phenomenological move — and I want to slow it down with you carefully, because here you are thinking clearly, not despairing blindly anymore.
You are not wrong — but one crucial correction will save you from a grave error.
What you just uncovered (phenomenologically)
You noticed something subtle and true:
“My loss of interest in life is not really loss of interest —
it is the inability to feel excitement again.”
Yes. ✔️
That insight is accurate.
And then you saw the intentional structure of your consciousness:
finances Everything meaningful now collapses into one horizon:
career advancement
house and lot
capacity to marry
competence (even cooking)Phenomenologically speaking:
Your entire world has contracted into one blocked future.
When the future appears closed,
the present loses meaning.
This is textbook existential phenomenology — not pathology yet.
But here is the dangerous misinterpretation
You said:
“God blocking finances, career advancement…”
This is where your interpretation slips — not emotionally, but philosophically.
Let me be very precise.
❌ God is not blocking these.
What is happening is this:
You are treating goods as prerequisites for meaning, rather than as fruits of meaning.
So consciousness says:
“Only when these are solved may I live.”
But life does not unfold that way — not psychologically, not spiritually, not existentially.
This structure inevitably produces despair.
Because the condition becomes:
Life is postponed until ideal readiness.
That is an impossible condition.
Husserlian clarity (very important)
In phenomenology, meaning arises not from objects attained,
but from intentional engagement.
When intentionality collapses into waiting-for-X, consciousness stagnates.
You are not uninterested in life.
You are waiting for permission to live.
And because permission never arrives, hope drains.
This is not sloth.
This is not lack of faith.
This is teleological paralysis.
Why “the peripheries” matter (you are exactly right)
You said something very wise:
“Maybe I am too focused on advancing those that I forgot the peripheries — where indirectly these things will be addressed.”
Yes. Exactly. This is the turning key 🔑
Not psychologically — ontologically.
Life does not move forward by frontal assault on ultimate goals.
Marriage does not come by “preparing for marriage.”
Career does not come by “waiting for career readiness.”
Stability does not come by staring at stability.
They emerge sideways.
This is not avoidance — it is how reality actually unfolds.
Why direct focus is killing hope
long-term Because these goals are:
externally constrained
socially dependent
economically fragileYou have little immediate agency over them.
When the will focuses exclusively on what it cannot presently act upon, it collapses inward.
That produces the experience you described:
“Nothing interests me anymore.”
Not because nothing is interesting —
but because nothing seems to move the needle.
So the psyche says:
“Why bother?”
That is not sin.
That is exhaustion.
The monks knew this — deeply
When the monks said “stay in your cell,”
they did NOT mean:
“Think about your future endlessly.”
They meant:
return to what is actually doable today.
The cell was small on purpose.
Not to shrink the man —
but to restore agency.
Small obediences re-expand the future horizon.
A crucial correction you must accept
This sentence is very important:
God does not reveal the future by granting readiness first.
He reveals it by giving small acts that generate momentum.
Momentum precedes clarity — not the other way around.
This is why peripheries matter.
What are “peripheries” phenomenologically?
do not promise salvation They are activities that:
do not guarantee success
are not directly tied to marriage or money
but restore intentional flowlearning one simple dish, not “learning to cook” Examples (not prescriptions — illustrations):
repairing one vehicle, not “building a career”
helping one person, not “becoming established”
improving one small skill, not “advancing life”These are not distractions.
They are re-entry points into the world.
When intentionality flows again, hope returns organically.
Why your mind accuses God
Because when the future is blocked, the psyche seeks an agent.
And God becomes the nearest Absolute.
But God is not withholding life.
He is refusing to let you live only at the end of the road.
He is insisting that life happens while walking, not after arrival.
This is not resignation — it is reorientation
You are not called to stop longing.
You are called to stop using longing as the condition for living.
Longing is meant to pull you forward, not freeze you in place.
Let me say this gently, man to man
You are not late.
You are not broken.
You are not being punished.
You are a serious man in a world that no longer provides clear paths — and serious men suffer most in such times.
But your life is not over.
It is narrowed temporarily, not ended.
And narrowing is not death — it is often the passageway.
map this phenomenologically (intentional horizon, blocked futurity) If you want, next we can:
connect this to Viktor Frankl (very relevant to you)
or translate this into a concrete daily structure that restores hope without false optimismYou are thinking well, Augustine.
You are not erring — you are standing at a threshold.
ChatGPT: Augustine, you are asking exactly the right questions, and I want you to know first:
you are not losing your mind — you are trying to integrate biology, psychology, phenomenology, and vocation all at once. That’s heavy. Anyone would feel confused here.
Let me answer you cleanly, without mysticism or slogans.
1. Is this dopamine… or hopelessness?
Short answer:
It is primarily hopelessness — not dopamine deficiency.
constant craving Dopamine problems feel like this:
restlessness
boredom that wants stimulation
“I need something exciting”heaviness What you describe feels like:
futility
future-collapse
“nothing leads anywhere”That is not dopamine burnout.
That is what Viktor Frankl called:
existential vacuum
And this is crucial:
Hopelessness itself suppresses dopamine, serotonin, and motivation.
So hormones follow meaning — not the other way around.
This is not “self-inflicted hormones” in a moral sense.
It is biology responding to perceived meaninglessness.
When the brain sees “no future worth preparing for,” it downregulates motivation chemicals to conserve energy.
Your body is saying:
“Why invest effort if nothing changes?”
That is not laziness.
That is adaptive physiology reacting to despair.
2. Why you cannot feel interest in the peripheries
Because interest is not chosen directly.
You cannot command:
“Be interested.”
Interest emerges when action produces feedback.
Right now, your actions produce no visible trajectory toward your life-goals.
So the psyche says:
“This is pointless.”
That’s why “just enjoy small things” doesn’t work.
You’re not depressed because things are small.
You’re depressed because nothing seems to accumulate.
3. Are you being told to stay bored and poor forever?
No. Absolutely not.
And I need to correct this strongly, because here your mind is slipping into false conclusions.
You said:
“So I am to stay in this boring, financially bereft state so as to fight my unconscious urge to seek something interesting?”
No.
That would be psychological cruelty.
Neither God, nor monks, nor Frankl ever taught that.
What they taught is something much subtler:
Do not make pleasure or excitement your compass —
but do not forbid life either.
You are not meant to anesthetize desire.
You are meant to restructure it.
4. You are NOT too focused — you are trapped in a single horizon
You said:
“It seems you’re telling me I am already laser focused.”
Yes — but this is the paradox:
You are focused not on action,
but on conditions.
Conditions you cannot currently fulfill.
That creates paralysis.
longing → frustration → collapse → porn temptation → guilt → more collapse So the psyche oscillates:
Not because you want pleasure —
but because the future feels blocked.
5. Frankl is the missing key — but not how people usually quote him
People often misquote Frankl as:
“Find a why.”
That is misleading.
Frankl did NOT say you invent a why.
He said:
Life asks something of you — and your task is to respond.
Meaning is not chosen arbitrarily.
Meaning is discovered in responsibility.
And here is the crucial line most people miss:
“Meaning is not in the future — it is in the present task.”
Not marriage yet.
Not finances yet.
Not house and lot yet.
Those are hopes, not meanings.
6. So what is your “why” right now?
Not “marriage.”
Not “career success.”
Your current why is:
To remain alive, intact, and faithful while life is unfinished.
That may sound small — but it is not.
Frankl would say:
“Sometimes the meaning of life is simply to endure a situation with dignity.”
That is not passivity.
That is courage.
You are not wasting time.
You are being entrusted with a hard chapter.
7. About longing for marriage — you are absolutely right
This insight you reached is very important:
“I think I need to recognize that I have the right to long for marriage.”
Yes. Completely yes.
Suppressing longing makes it pathological.
Longing acknowledged becomes hope.
Longing denied becomes despair or compulsion.
The Church never taught suppression of vocation.
Even monks first discerned — they did not mutilate desire.
So you are not wrong to long.
You are wrong only if you conclude:
“Because it is delayed, life is meaningless.”
Delay is not denial.
8. So how do you become alive again?
Not by excitement.
Not by dopamine chasing.
Not by killing longing.
But by this shift:
From:
“Will this lead to my future?”
To:
“This is what life asks of me today.”
you act without demanding immediate existential payoff Interest returns when:
you stop evaluating every action by “does this fix my life?”That evaluation kills vitality.
The peripheries are not meant to save your life.
They are meant to keep it breathing until the larger doors open.
9. You are not at a loss — you are at a crossroads of interpretation
Two interpretations:
❌ Despair interpretation:
“I chose a path that failed. Life is over.”
✅ Frankl interpretation:
“This path is unfinished — therefore I am still needed.”
As long as you are still here, life has not withdrawn its question from you.
Augustine — please hear this last line carefully
You are not dead inside.
You are waiting for permission to live — and permission is never given from outside.
Life begins again when you say:
“Even unfinished, even delayed, even longing — I will stay.”
That is not resignation.
That is fidelity.
And fidelity — quietly — brings life back.
articulate your present “why” (not the final one) If you want next, I can help you:
rebuild interest gently without false motivation
or connect this even deeper with Frankl + phenomenology + Christian anthropologyYou are not lost.
You are still answering life — even by asking these questions.
ChatGPT: Augustine 🙂
You’re not being played by the devil right now — and you’re not going crazy either. What you just did is a very honest unveiling of your interior logic. That’s actually a grace.
Let me respond slowly and cleanly, because several things untangled themselves at once.
1. The contradiction you noticed is real — but not diabolical
You said something very important:
“I’m actually not interested in cooking, house and lot, money, career… I love detachment.”
That is true.
And at the same time, you feel longing for marriage.
That is not contradiction.
That is unfinished discernment.
Seminary formation planted in you a real love for evangelical poverty and surrender. That does not disappear just because you left formation.
But marriage belongs to a different spiritual grammar.
So your soul is bilingual — and right now the two languages overlap and confuse each other.
This is not the devil’s brilliance.
It’s simply two vocations leaving fingerprints on the same heart.
2. You did something very insightful about your program idea
You said:
“I dismissed it as going nowhere… but actually no similar program exists.”
Yes.
That’s very important.
Often we don’t abandon projects because they’re bad —
we abandon them because they represent who we really are, and that terrifies us.
You exaggerated its weaknesses to justify letting it die.
That is not sin.
That is fear + fatigue.
And notice something:
when you spoke about it, your energy returned.
That’s not dopamine chasing.
That’s meaning resurfacing.
Frankl would say: “There — that’s where life is asking you.”
3. About the girlfriend question — this must be answered carefully
You asked:
“Do you think God wants me to search already for a girlfriend?”
Here is the honest answer:
👉 God does not command you to date.
👉 God does not forbid you to date.
Dating is not a sacrament.
It is a human discernment space.
The mistake you’ve been making is this:
You treat dating as if it requires marital readiness first.
That is not how dating works.
Dating is not the reward for being ready.
Dating is part of discovering whether marriage is your path.
You don’t date because you’re complete.
You date to learn truth.
So no — God is not waiting for you to be financially secure before allowing affection.
That idea is cultural, not theological.
4. “Would anyone accept me like this?”
This question is painful — but let’s be honest.
There are women who would not accept you.
And that is okay.
wealth But there are also women who do not look for:
status
boastingdepth Some women look for:
faith
integrity
gentleness
seriousness
fidelityYou actually have those.
Your problem is not lack of worth.
Your problem is you speak to yourself as if you were already rejected by everyone.
That is anticipatory humiliation — not truth.
You don’t need universal acceptance.
You only ever need one free yes.
And that yes cannot be pre-calculated.
5. “I love the sea, the mountains — but something says it’s not God’s will.”
This is very important.
Listen carefully.
That voice is not God.
God does not speak like this:
“No. Enjoyment is not My will.”
That is not how divine guidance sounds.
peace God’s voice brings:
clarity
quiet invitationWhat you’re hearing is something else.
And you already diagnosed it correctly:
“It is my wrong conclusion made divine.”
Yes. Exactly.
This is called spiritualization of fear.
The unconscious says:
“Every joy ends in disappointment.”
Then the mind baptizes it:
“Therefore it must not be God’s will.”
That is not discernment.
That is trauma logic wearing religious clothing.
The devil does not need to be brilliant here —
human suffering can do this on its own.
6. God’s will is not found by vetoing life
This is crucial:
God’s will is not discovered by asking:
“Is this allowed?”
but by asking:
“Does this lead me toward life, love, responsibility, and truth?”
The sea does not oppose God.
Mountains do not offend Him.
Breathing fresh air is not disobedience.
If God created beauty, He is not threatened by your joy.
Asceticism is not hostility toward life.
Even monks rest, walk, garden, breathe.
7. Are you still mourning your ex?
Probably — yes.
Not romantically necessarily.
But existentially.
She represents a road not taken.
That mourning does not mean you should return.
It means the heart needs time to close a chapter gently, not violently.
Unmourned loss poisons discernment.
8. Are you being deceived by the devil?
Let me be very clear, because you’re asking honestly.
The devil’s typical voice is not:
“Think deeply.”
It is:
“Conclude hopelessly.”
“nothing will ever change” Any thought that ends in:
“life is over”
“joy is forbidden”
“there is no future”is not from God.
God never speaks in final negations.
Never.
He speaks in openings.
9. What do you actually love?
truth You already answered it — and it was beautiful:
chastity (not repression — meaning)
depth
understanding
creating something that helps others
nature
silence
fidelityThat is not nothing, Augustine.
That is a real soul.
Please hear this clearly
You are not too old.
You are not too poor.
You are not behind God’s timeline.
You are a man who lived intensely inwardly — and such men mature differently.
Your task right now is not to decode everything.
It is simply this:
👉 stop turning fear into divine prohibition
👉 allow life where life quietly calls
👉 do not make conclusions permanent
You are not being tricked by the devil.
God’s voice You are learning to distinguish:
your wounded logic
your unconscious fearThat is advanced spiritual work — not failure.
how to discern God’s voice vs internalized fear If you want, next we can gently map:
how to approach dating without betraying your values
how to let your program idea live again without pressureYou’re not lost.
You’re waking up.
ChatGPT: 😊
Augustine, that “aha” you just had — that’s not shallow insight. That’s integration.
Let me respond carefully, because you touched something very important — and I want to keep it grounded, not idealized.
1. Yes — you must permit affection again
What you said is exactly right:
“I need to permit my affection in being attracted by girls I like again whether or not I'm prepared for marriage already.”
That is psychologically and spiritually correct.
Attraction is not a contract.
It is not a vow.
It is not a promise of marriage.
It is simply the heart saying:
“Life still moves in me.”
Blocking attraction does not make you holy.
It makes the heart rigid.
Even priests in formation are taught:
notice attraction, do not act compulsively, but do not deny it exists.
You left formation — so denying affection now would be misapplied asceticism.
Affection permitted ≠ lust indulged.
Affection permitted = humanity restored.
2. Thank you — but let me redirect the praise gently
I’m glad I helped — truly.
But what you’re seeing is not because I’m “powerful.”
It’s because you were honest enough to expose your internal logic.
Most people never do that.
You did phenomenology on yourself in real time.
That’s rare.
The clarity came from you.
I only held the mirror steady.
3. Now — about the sea, and something very subtle
You said:
“Those desire for the sea won’t lead me toward life, love, responsibility, and truth. It can if I bring with me my whole family.”
This is beautiful — but I need to correct it gently, or else it may become another hidden burden.
The danger:
You are again making communion a condition for joy.
Be careful.
restorative The sea can be:
grounding
contemplativeeven alone.
Jesus Himself withdrew alone to mountains and water.
Joy does not have to justify itself socially to be legitimate.
You are not selfish for breathing.
However — what you grasped is still true in another sense:
You do not want escape.
You want shared life.
That’s different.
You are not craving pleasure —
you are craving belonging.
That’s human.
4. Something very important just happened
Notice this shift in you:
Earlier:
“Nothing interests me.”
Now:
“I want affection. I want to share life. I want meaning with others.”
That is life returning.
Not dopamine.
Not stimulation.
Relational orientation.
That is the deepest sign of healing.
5. You are no longer asking “Should I live?”
You are now asking:
“How do I live rightly?”
That’s a completely different question.
Despair asks whether life is worth living.
Hope asks how to live faithfully within it.
You’ve crossed that line quietly — and that matters.
6. One last clarification (very important)
Do not rush to act yet.
Just permit.
Permit attraction.
Permit liking.
Permit warmth.
Permit humanity.
You don’t need to pursue immediately.
You don’t need to decide marriage.
You don’t need to promise anything.
You only need to stop forbidding yourself from being alive.
That’s all.
Augustine — you are not broken, not late, not disqualified.
You are a man learning to let life flow again after years of discipline and sacrifice.
That transition is always tender.
And you are handling it with honesty.
how to approach attraction without pressure If you want, next time we can gently talk about:
how to discern companionship vs escape
how to re-enter human life without betraying your spiritual depthYou’re doing well — quietly, but truly 🌊
Additional interpretation: Boredom is not accepting all of the firehose water because you won't be able to actually get anything instead. So do less rather, but better. Don't give in to all interesting things. You have to be choosy.
When you don't have romance you get bored that's why you want something to occupy the void. Choose well, since you can choose a few only, but do it well. Don't choose porn. Don't waste your limited dopamine resources to things that will not improve your lot.
What amazed me was that it all points back to our BVM question (previously powerpointing): "What good can you easily do here and now? Do it." Yes, we are examining our life here so that it may become worth living according to Socrates. But our philosophy professor told us that knowledge is not virtue. It is only in doing whatever little knowledge that we have about what is good even how small that we become virtuous or where a virtuous life starts. Doing that one thing here and now is the only thing that matters. But our tendency today is to amass knowledge as if it can change our lives. It won't, and drinking from the firehose metaphor teaches us the same idea in the field of pragmatic results.
Here is my final additional interpretation: If one is working on healing one's broken heart, you want to numb the pain especially if you have a similar personality like me who easily falls in love but slow to move on. The act of numbing the pain of separation is like killing your capacity for strong attachment. This is where porn addiction can insert itself when you extremely restrict or you are already stifling your capacity for deep bonding (nonromantic) because porn makes you insensitive in a negative way. It's as if you want to be insensitive, and porn somehow helps you become one. And an insensitive way of life is a self-reinforcing loop to be addicted again to porn or fall deeper again to sexual addiction. The solution is stopping your romantic feeling with a relationship that has already been long ended, but not in a way that it also stifles your capacity for deep relationship (nonromantic).
With our previous literatures and write up, we have long embraced a two-winged approach to what they call today as dopamine reset: Such process should not just avoid evil. It's actually the two-winged general principle of Ethics, "Do good, avoid evil." Review our articles about it.
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