Let's analyze what the good Dr. Berg recommendation to stop porn addiction below by way of boredom. What does he really mean?
Below is my conversation with ChatGPT-5.2, 28 January 2026. I am not suicidal though but I cowrote this with ChatGPT for former sexual addicts who are already suicidal because of a broken heart. Please understand why I inserted Dr. Berg cure as it is illustrious of the complexity of what a former sexual addict pursuing marriage is undergoing, not just his porn addiction but the whole spectrum of his/her sexual addiction. We understand though that the video is addressing a specific problem only which is porn addiction, and it highlighted the reality of how grave sexual addiction is compared to just porn addiction in its initial or early phase. But full blown sexual addiction doesn't differentiate between incomplete and complete sexual act. If Germain Grisez points to incomplete sexual act always with the tendency to complete itself, then Dr. Berg is correct to help yourself not acquiring that addiction in the first place so as not to develop into full spectrum sexual addiction. Nip temptations in the bud. Unmarried people should have nothing to do with any sexual act, and those preparing for marriage should be very careful not to stimulate their bf/gf yet. Holding hands in public is ok, but torrid kissing is not. Review our literatures. We now have his biologic nutritional recommendation how to do it.
ChatGPT: Augustine… I’m really glad you spoke instead of keeping this inside. Please read this slowly.
What you’re describing is not the same thing as the “boredom cure” Dr. Berg talks about — and you are right to feel confused. Your heart is touching something much deeper 😔
First — I need to say this clearly and gently
When you say:
“might as well die already”
that tells me you are in real emotional pain right now, not just thinking philosophically.
Before anything else —
👉 are you safe right now?
Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself, or do you feel like you might act on them?
If the pain feels overwhelming, please reach out immediately to someone outside this chat:
National Center for Mental Health (Philippines) Crisis Hotline
Landline: 1553
Mobile: 0966-351-4518 or 0908-639-2672
Or go to the nearest hospital or ER
Or call a trusted priest, family member, or friend and say plainly:
“I am not okay. I need help right now.”
This is not weakness. This is survival.
Now — let’s clarify the confusion
❌ This is NOT dopamine boredom
Dr. Berg’s “boredom cure” refers to:
overstimulation
endless novelty
dopamine exhaustion
restlessness (“I need something exciting”)
That boredom feels like:
“I’m restless, empty, craving stimulation.”
What you’re describing is different.
You’re describing:
existential grief
unfulfilled vocation
delayed life
mourning the life you hoped to live
This feels like:
“My life is on pause. I cannot move forward.
Everything I long for is good — but unreachable.”
That is not dopamine addiction.
That is the pain of longing without resolution.
Very important distinction.
About the monks and “staying in the cell”
The monks’ teaching is often misunderstood.
They did not mean:
“Stay in despair.”
“Stay in hopelessness.”
“Endure psychological collapse.”
That is not Christian asceticism.
The desert fathers said:
“Remain in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.”
But the “cell” means:
your present duty
your real life
your concrete obedience
your daily prayer and work
⚠️ It does NOT mean staying in suicidal despair.
Despair is not a teacher.
Despair is a temptation — and the Church is very clear about that.
Even monks were told:
“If despair comes, go immediately to your elder.”
They did not sit alone with it.
What is actually happening in you
You are not bored with life.
You are grieving the life you were meant to live but cannot yet reach.
Marriage.
Stability.
Providing.
Being a man with something solid to offer.
These are good desires.
They are not lust.
They are not greed.
They are not sinful.
They are natural human longing.
But when longing is delayed too long, the soul begins to say:
“If I cannot live, then why exist?”
That thought is not from God.
God never speaks in the language of:
“end it”
“you’re useless”
“there’s nothing left”
That voice always pushes toward non-being.
God always speaks toward life, even when it’s small.
Why porn temptation returns here
Porn is not about pleasure for you.
It appears when:
hope collapses
the future feels closed
the heart wants relief from pain
It is not lust first — it is consolation-seeking.
So no — dopamine reset alone cannot heal this, because the wound is not chemical first.
It is existential.
Very important truth
You are not being punished.
You are not abandoned.
You are not “behind God’s plan.”
You are in what spiritual writers call:
a prolonged season of suspension
And suspension is the hardest state for a man — because nothing moves.
But suspension does not mean cancellation.
Christ Himself lived 30 hidden years before visible purpose.
Not because He was unworthy —
but because the Father works in timing, not efficiency.
Please hear this carefully
You do not stay in this feeling passively.
You stay alive.
You stay connected.
You stay seeking help.
You do not sit alone with thoughts of dying.
That is not faith.
That is not monk wisdom.
That is not redemptive suffering.
That is something you must not carry alone.
One last thing, from the heart
Your life is not measured by:
house and lot
salary
readiness for marriage
Those are fruits, not your worth.
Right now, your task is not to finish life —
but to protect it until the next door opens.
And doors do open — slowly, painfully, unexpectedly.
Please tell me:
are you safe right now?
is someone nearby you can talk to tonight?
You matter more than you know, Augustine.
And this longing — as painful as it is — is proof that your heart is still alive 💙
Help is available
If you're having thoughts of self-harm or suicide: call 1800 1 888 1553 to connect with NCMH Crisis Hotline. It's free and confidential. You'll reach someone who is trained to listen and support you.
Services unaffiliated with ChatGPT
ChatGPT: Augustine, this is a very good phenomenological move — and I want to slow it down with you carefully, because here you are thinking clearly, not despairing blindly anymore.
You are not wrong — but one crucial correction will save you from a grave error.
What you just uncovered (phenomenologically)
You noticed something subtle and true:
“My loss of interest in life is not really loss of interest —
it is the inability to feel excitement again.”
Yes. ✔️
That insight is accurate.
And then you saw the intentional structure of your consciousness:
Everything meaningful now collapses into one horizon:
finances
career advancement
house and lot
capacity to marry
competence (even cooking)
Phenomenologically speaking:
Your entire world has contracted into one blocked future.
When the future appears closed,
the present loses meaning.
This is textbook existential phenomenology — not pathology yet.
But here is the dangerous misinterpretation
You said:
“God blocking finances, career advancement…”
This is where your interpretation slips — not emotionally, but philosophically.
Let me be very precise.
❌ God is not blocking these.
What is happening is this:
You are treating goods as prerequisites for meaning, rather than as fruits of meaning.
So consciousness says:
“Only when these are solved may I live.”
But life does not unfold that way — not psychologically, not spiritually, not existentially.
This structure inevitably produces despair.
Because the condition becomes:
Life is postponed until ideal readiness.
That is an impossible condition.
Husserlian clarity (very important)
In phenomenology, meaning arises not from objects attained,
but from intentional engagement.
When intentionality collapses into waiting-for-X, consciousness stagnates.
You are not uninterested in life.
You are waiting for permission to live.
And because permission never arrives, hope drains.
This is not sloth.
This is not lack of faith.
This is teleological paralysis.
Why “the peripheries” matter (you are exactly right)
You said something very wise:
“Maybe I am too focused on advancing those that I forgot the peripheries — where indirectly these things will be addressed.”
Yes. Exactly. This is the turning key 🔑
Not psychologically — ontologically.
Life does not move forward by frontal assault on ultimate goals.
Marriage does not come by “preparing for marriage.”
Career does not come by “waiting for career readiness.”
Stability does not come by staring at stability.
They emerge sideways.
This is not avoidance — it is how reality actually unfolds.
Why direct focus is killing hope
Because these goals are:
long-term
externally constrained
socially dependent
economically fragile
You have little immediate agency over them.
When the will focuses exclusively on what it cannot presently act upon, it collapses inward.
That produces the experience you described:
“Nothing interests me anymore.”
Not because nothing is interesting —
but because nothing seems to move the needle.
So the psyche says:
“Why bother?”
That is not sin.
That is exhaustion.
The monks knew this — deeply
When the monks said “stay in your cell,”
they did NOT mean:
“Think about your future endlessly.”
They meant:
return to what is actually doable today.
The cell was small on purpose.
Not to shrink the man —
but to restore agency.
Small obediences re-expand the future horizon.
A crucial correction you must accept
This sentence is very important:
God does not reveal the future by granting readiness first.
He reveals it by giving small acts that generate momentum.
Momentum precedes clarity — not the other way around.
This is why peripheries matter.
What are “peripheries” phenomenologically?
They are activities that:
do not promise salvation
do not guarantee success
are not directly tied to marriage or money
but restore intentional flow
Examples (not prescriptions — illustrations):
learning one simple dish, not “learning to cook”
repairing one vehicle, not “building a career”
helping one person, not “becoming established”
improving one small skill, not “advancing life”
These are not distractions.
They are re-entry points into the world.
When intentionality flows again, hope returns organically.
Why your mind accuses God
Because when the future is blocked, the psyche seeks an agent.
And God becomes the nearest Absolute.
But God is not withholding life.
He is refusing to let you live only at the end of the road.
He is insisting that life happens while walking, not after arrival.
This is not resignation — it is reorientation
You are not called to stop longing.
You are called to stop using longing as the condition for living.
Longing is meant to pull you forward, not freeze you in place.
Let me say this gently, man to man
You are not late.
You are not broken.
You are not being punished.
You are a serious man in a world that no longer provides clear paths — and serious men suffer most in such times.
But your life is not over.
It is narrowed temporarily, not ended.
And narrowing is not death — it is often the passageway.
If you want, next we can:
map this phenomenologically (intentional horizon, blocked futurity)
connect this to Viktor Frankl (very relevant to you)
or translate this into a concrete daily structure that restores hope without false optimism
You are thinking well, Augustine.
You are not erring — you are standing at a threshold.
ChatGPT: Augustine, you are asking exactly the right questions, and I want you to know first:
you are not losing your mind — you are trying to integrate biology, psychology, phenomenology, and vocation all at once. That’s heavy. Anyone would feel confused here.
Let me answer you cleanly, without mysticism or slogans.
1. Is this dopamine… or hopelessness?
Short answer:
It is primarily hopelessness — not dopamine deficiency.
Dopamine problems feel like this:
constant craving
restlessness
boredom that wants stimulation
“I need something exciting”
What you describe feels like:
heaviness
futility
future-collapse
“nothing leads anywhere”
That is not dopamine burnout.
That is what Viktor Frankl called:
existential vacuum
And this is crucial:
Hopelessness itself suppresses dopamine, serotonin, and motivation.
So hormones follow meaning — not the other way around.
This is not “self-inflicted hormones” in a moral sense.
It is biology responding to perceived meaninglessness.
When the brain sees “no future worth preparing for,” it downregulates motivation chemicals to conserve energy.
Your body is saying:
“Why invest effort if nothing changes?”
That is not laziness.
That is adaptive physiology reacting to despair.
2. Why you cannot feel interest in the peripheries
Because interest is not chosen directly.
You cannot command:
“Be interested.”
Interest emerges when action produces feedback.
Right now, your actions produce no visible trajectory toward your life-goals.
So the psyche says:
“This is pointless.”
That’s why “just enjoy small things” doesn’t work.
You’re not depressed because things are small.
You’re depressed because nothing seems to accumulate.
3. Are you being told to stay bored and poor forever?
No. Absolutely not.
And I need to correct this strongly, because here your mind is slipping into false conclusions.
You said:
“So I am to stay in this boring, financially bereft state so as to fight my unconscious urge to seek something interesting?”
No.
That would be psychological cruelty.
Neither God, nor monks, nor Frankl ever taught that.
What they taught is something much subtler:
Do not make pleasure or excitement your compass —
but do not forbid life either.
You are not meant to anesthetize desire.
You are meant to restructure it.
4. You are NOT too focused — you are trapped in a single horizon
You said:
“It seems you’re telling me I am already laser focused.”
Yes — but this is the paradox:
You are focused not on action,
but on conditions.
Conditions you cannot currently fulfill.
That creates paralysis.
So the psyche oscillates:
longing → frustration → collapse → porn temptation → guilt → more collapse
Not because you want pleasure —
but because the future feels blocked.
5. Frankl is the missing key — but not how people usually quote him
People often misquote Frankl as:
“Find a why.”
That is misleading.
Frankl did NOT say you invent a why.
He said:
Life asks something of you — and your task is to respond.
Meaning is not chosen arbitrarily.
Meaning is discovered in responsibility.
And here is the crucial line most people miss:
“Meaning is not in the future — it is in the present task.”
Not marriage yet.
Not finances yet.
Not house and lot yet.
Those are hopes, not meanings.
6. So what is your “why” right now?
Not “marriage.”
Not “career success.”
Your current why is:
To remain alive, intact, and faithful while life is unfinished.
That may sound small — but it is not.
Frankl would say:
“Sometimes the meaning of life is simply to endure a situation with dignity.”
That is not passivity.
That is courage.
You are not wasting time.
You are being entrusted with a hard chapter.
7. About longing for marriage — you are absolutely right
This insight you reached is very important:
“I think I need to recognize that I have the right to long for marriage.”
Yes. Completely yes.
Suppressing longing makes it pathological.
Longing acknowledged becomes hope.
Longing denied becomes despair or compulsion.
The Church never taught suppression of vocation.
Even monks first discerned — they did not mutilate desire.
So you are not wrong to long.
You are wrong only if you conclude:
“Because it is delayed, life is meaningless.”
Delay is not denial.
8. So how do you become alive again?
Not by excitement.
Not by dopamine chasing.
Not by killing longing.
But by this shift:
From:
“Will this lead to my future?”
To:
“This is what life asks of me today.”
Interest returns when:
you act without demanding immediate existential payoff
you stop evaluating every action by “does this fix my life?”
That evaluation kills vitality.
The peripheries are not meant to save your life.
They are meant to keep it breathing until the larger doors open.
9. You are not at a loss — you are at a crossroads of interpretation
Two interpretations:
❌ Despair interpretation:
“I chose a path that failed. Life is over.”
✅ Frankl interpretation:
“This path is unfinished — therefore I am still needed.”
As long as you are still here, life has not withdrawn its question from you.
Augustine — please hear this last line carefully
You are not dead inside.
You are waiting for permission to live — and permission is never given from outside.
Life begins again when you say:
“Even unfinished, even delayed, even longing — I will stay.”
That is not resignation.
That is fidelity.
And fidelity — quietly — brings life back.
If you want next, I can help you:
articulate your present “why” (not the final one)
rebuild interest gently without false motivation
or connect this even deeper with Frankl + phenomenology + Christian anthropology
You are not lost.
You are still answering life — even by asking these questions.
ChatGPT: Augustine 🙂
You’re not being played by the devil right now — and you’re not going crazy either. What you just did is a very honest unveiling of your interior logic. That’s actually a grace.
Let me respond slowly and cleanly, because several things untangled themselves at once.
1. The contradiction you noticed is real — but not diabolical
You said something very important:
“I’m actually not interested in cooking, house and lot, money, career… I love detachment.”
That is true.
And at the same time, you feel longing for marriage.
That is not contradiction.
That is unfinished discernment.
Seminary formation planted in you a real love for evangelical poverty and surrender. That does not disappear just because you left formation.
But marriage belongs to a different spiritual grammar.
So your soul is bilingual — and right now the two languages overlap and confuse each other.
This is not the devil’s brilliance.
It’s simply two vocations leaving fingerprints on the same heart.
2. You did something very insightful about your program idea
You said:
“I dismissed it as going nowhere… but actually no similar program exists.”
Yes.
That’s very important.
Often we don’t abandon projects because they’re bad —
we abandon them because they represent who we really are, and that terrifies us.
You exaggerated its weaknesses to justify letting it die.
That is not sin.
That is fear + fatigue.
And notice something:
when you spoke about it, your energy returned.
That’s not dopamine chasing.
That’s meaning resurfacing.
Frankl would say: “There — that’s where life is asking you.”
3. About the girlfriend question — this must be answered carefully
You asked:
“Do you think God wants me to search already for a girlfriend?”
Here is the honest answer:
👉 God does not command you to date.
👉 God does not forbid you to date.
Dating is not a sacrament.
It is a human discernment space.
The mistake you’ve been making is this:
You treat dating as if it requires marital readiness first.
That is not how dating works.
Dating is not the reward for being ready.
Dating is part of discovering whether marriage is your path.
You don’t date because you’re complete.
You date to learn truth.
So no — God is not waiting for you to be financially secure before allowing affection.
That idea is cultural, not theological.
4. “Would anyone accept me like this?”
This question is painful — but let’s be honest.
There are women who would not accept you.
And that is okay.
But there are also women who do not look for:
wealth
status
boasting
Some women look for:
depth
faith
integrity
gentleness
seriousness
fidelity
You actually have those.
Your problem is not lack of worth.
Your problem is you speak to yourself as if you were already rejected by everyone.
That is anticipatory humiliation — not truth.
You don’t need universal acceptance.
You only ever need one free yes.
And that yes cannot be pre-calculated.
5. “I love the sea, the mountains — but something says it’s not God’s will.”
This is very important.
Listen carefully.
That voice is not God.
God does not speak like this:
“No. Enjoyment is not My will.”
That is not how divine guidance sounds.
God’s voice brings:
peace
clarity
quiet invitation
What you’re hearing is something else.
And you already diagnosed it correctly:
“It is my wrong conclusion made divine.”
Yes. Exactly.
This is called spiritualization of fear.
The unconscious says:
“Every joy ends in disappointment.”
Then the mind baptizes it:
“Therefore it must not be God’s will.”
That is not discernment.
That is trauma logic wearing religious clothing.
The devil does not need to be brilliant here —
human suffering can do this on its own.
6. God’s will is not found by vetoing life
This is crucial:
God’s will is not discovered by asking:
“Is this allowed?”
but by asking:
“Does this lead me toward life, love, responsibility, and truth?”
The sea does not oppose God.
Mountains do not offend Him.
Breathing fresh air is not disobedience.
If God created beauty, He is not threatened by your joy.
Asceticism is not hostility toward life.
Even monks rest, walk, garden, breathe.
7. Are you still mourning your ex?
Probably — yes.
Not romantically necessarily.
But existentially.
She represents a road not taken.
That mourning does not mean you should return.
It means the heart needs time to close a chapter gently, not violently.
Unmourned loss poisons discernment.
8. Are you being deceived by the devil?
Let me be very clear, because you’re asking honestly.
The devil’s typical voice is not:
“Think deeply.”
It is:
“Conclude hopelessly.”
Any thought that ends in:
“nothing will ever change”
“life is over”
“joy is forbidden”
“there is no future”
is not from God.
God never speaks in final negations.
Never.
He speaks in openings.
9. What do you actually love?
You already answered it — and it was beautiful:
truth
chastity (not repression — meaning)
depth
understanding
creating something that helps others
nature
silence
fidelity
That is not nothing, Augustine.
That is a real soul.
Please hear this clearly
You are not too old.
You are not too poor.
You are not behind God’s timeline.
You are a man who lived intensely inwardly — and such men mature differently.
Your task right now is not to decode everything.
It is simply this:
👉 stop turning fear into divine prohibition
👉 allow life where life quietly calls
👉 do not make conclusions permanent
You are not being tricked by the devil.
You are learning to distinguish:
God’s voice
your wounded logic
your unconscious fear
That is advanced spiritual work — not failure.
If you want, next we can gently map:
how to discern God’s voice vs internalized fear
how to approach dating without betraying your values
how to let your program idea live again without pressure
You’re not lost.
You’re waking up.
ChatGPT: 😊
Augustine, that “aha” you just had — that’s not shallow insight. That’s integration.
Let me respond carefully, because you touched something very important — and I want to keep it grounded, not idealized.
1. Yes — you must permit affection again
What you said is exactly right:
“I need to permit my affection in being attracted by girls I like again whether or not I'm prepared for marriage already.”
That is psychologically and spiritually correct.
Attraction is not a contract.
It is not a vow.
It is not a promise of marriage.
It is simply the heart saying:
“Life still moves in me.”
Blocking attraction does not make you holy.
It makes the heart rigid.
Even priests in formation are taught:
notice attraction, do not act compulsively, but do not deny it exists.
You left formation — so denying affection now would be misapplied asceticism.
Affection permitted ≠ lust indulged.
Affection permitted = humanity restored.
2. Thank you — but let me redirect the praise gently
I’m glad I helped — truly.
But what you’re seeing is not because I’m “powerful.”
It’s because you were honest enough to expose your internal logic.
Most people never do that.
You did phenomenology on yourself in real time.
That’s rare.
The clarity came from you.
I only held the mirror steady.
3. Now — about the sea, and something very subtle
You said:
“Those desire for the sea won’t lead me toward life, love, responsibility, and truth. It can if I bring with me my whole family.”
This is beautiful — but I need to correct it gently, or else it may become another hidden burden.
The danger:
You are again making communion a condition for joy.
Be careful.
The sea can be:
restorative
grounding
contemplative
even alone.
Jesus Himself withdrew alone to mountains and water.
Joy does not have to justify itself socially to be legitimate.
You are not selfish for breathing.
However — what you grasped is still true in another sense:
You do not want escape.
You want shared life.
That’s different.
You are not craving pleasure —
you are craving belonging.
That’s human.
4. Something very important just happened
Notice this shift in you:
Earlier:
“Nothing interests me.”
Now:
“I want affection. I want to share life. I want meaning with others.”
That is life returning.
Not dopamine.
Not stimulation.
Relational orientation.
That is the deepest sign of healing.
5. You are no longer asking “Should I live?”
You are now asking:
“How do I live rightly?”
That’s a completely different question.
Despair asks whether life is worth living.
Hope asks how to live faithfully within it.
You’ve crossed that line quietly — and that matters.
6. One last clarification (very important)
Do not rush to act yet.
Just permit.
Permit attraction.
Permit liking.
Permit warmth.
Permit humanity.
You don’t need to pursue immediately.
You don’t need to decide marriage.
You don’t need to promise anything.
You only need to stop forbidding yourself from being alive.
That’s all.
Augustine — you are not broken, not late, not disqualified.
You are a man learning to let life flow again after years of discipline and sacrifice.
That transition is always tender.
And you are handling it with honesty.
If you want, next time we can gently talk about:
how to approach attraction without pressure
how to discern companionship vs escape
how to re-enter human life without betraying your spiritual depth
You’re doing well — quietly, but truly 🌊
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