ADHD Episodes Are Theologically Or Spiritually Unappeasable

 Below is a second reading from iBreviary Office of Readings.

From a letter to Proba by Saint Augustine, bishop

(Ep. 130, 14, 25-26: CSEL 44, 68-71)

We do not know what it is right to pray for

You may still want to ask why the Apostle said: We do not know what it is right to pray for, because, surely, we cannot believe that either he or those to whom he wrote did not know the Lord’s Prayer.

He showed that he himself shared this uncertainty. Did he know what it was right to pray for when he was given a thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan to bruise him, so that he might not be puffed up by the greatness of what was revealed to him? Three times he asked the Lord to take it away from him, which showed that he did not know what he should ask for in prayer. At last, he heard the Lord’s answer, explaining why the prayer of so great a man was not granted, and why it was not expedient for it to be granted: My grace is sufficient for you, for power shines forth more perfectly in weakness.

In the kind of affliction, then, which can bring either good or ill, we do not know what it is right to pray for; yet, because it is difficult, troublesome and against the grain for us, weak as we are, we do what every human would do, we pray that it may be taken away from us. We owe, however, at least this much in our duty to God: if he does not take it away, we must not imagine that we are being forgotten by him but because of our loving endurance of evil, must await greater blessings in its place. In this way, power shines forth more perfectly in weakness. These words are written to prevent us from having too great an opinion of ourselves if our prayer is granted, when we are impatient in asking for something that it would be better not to receive; and to prevent us from being dejected, and distrustful of God’s mercy toward us, if our prayer is not granted, when we ask for something that would bring us greater affliction, or completely ruin us through the corrupting influence of prosperity. In these cases we do not know what is right to ask for in prayer.

Therefore, if something happens that we did not pray for, we must have no doubt at all that what God wants is more expedient than what we wanted ourselves. Our great Mediator gave us an example of this. After he had said: Father, if it is possible, let this cup be taken away from me, he immediately added, Yet not what I will, but what you will, Father, so transforming the human will that was his through his taking a human nature. As a consequence, and rightly so, through the obedience of one man the many are made righteous.

What does it concern us? I think there is no other readings to conclude our whole tasks, as former sexual addicts, of searching and mastering the virue of chastity and purity.

Now what does it concern us again? 

The possible presence of ADHD on compulsive sexual addiction changes our approach to the problem of being chaste. The readings above as much as it is the ultimatum spiritual illuminator to our desire for a chaste life, becomes less conclusive, not because of its lack of sheer brilliance in explaining our understanding of our weakness, but because our ADHD episodes doesn't accept any such explanation for the time being. When inattention, restlessness, anxiety attacks, its not quiet the time to ask God why he gave us sexual addiction without also provisioning for our marriage as well. There will be no theological, practical, or any good explanation to shoo away such hardheadedness during such moments of ADHD episodes. Those episodes rather are time for self-understanding, rest, and actually even just giving ourselves the time we need to reset our minds, even though it just seems to be wandering mindlessly. Anyway such psychological technique called Jack Reacher method is now being recognized. I just simply take a walk mindlessly for some time rather than pursue such theological answer to its zenith.

Those are rather not good times for a theological understanding or even spiritual answers because it is an unappeasable ADHD episodes by theological and spiritual approach. Depending on the severity of your ADHD or even just borderline ADHD, you will benefit from other CBT approaches although I find mindless walking sufficient and best for my situation.