Homosexuality is Curable

 Though APA said that homosexuality is not a disease, those who would like to can be cured.

Cure rates are definitely on the increase and, for the majority of homosexuals, it is a matter of choice if they desire to be changed. -Homosexuality can be cured. (apa.org)

Homosexuality is a sin. But the tendency of the homosexuals should be taken care of with mercy just as any sinful human being should.

The citations above pointing to behavioral modification and homosexual's desire to change as predictive of success spells out that change of heart or conversion of sinners are a spiritual factor. I highly recommend our chastity works here for the healing of homosexuality as well, which should include triggering desire for the sacrament of marriage, since correction of the "object" of one's sexual desire is the only and primary psychological problem. May we never despair from one day being victorious against our own individual weaknesses. And may we never tire from carrying our personal crosses.

Remembering St. John Paul II's word below against our wrong assumption that there is nothing wrong materially about homosexuality that is triggering homosexual addiction that we say that it's not a disease   

The problem of moral evil—the most tragic of evil's forms—is also addressed in the Bible, which tells us that such evil stems not from any material deficiency, but is a wound inflicted by the disordered exercise of human freedom.

O cross, you are the glorious sign of victory.
Through your power may we share in the triumph of Christ Jesus.

A Therapeutic Proposal?

 I would like to propose that the question of the Blessed Virgin Mary, "What good can you easily do here and now? Do it." become a therapeutic technique with the likes of EMDR and CBT.

It's more ethically bound or philosophical, but nonetheless all of us is still bound to know and obey the first principle which is to do good and avoid evil. It's more phenomenologically correct since it tackles the present obligation of a person head on, but nonetheless in a merciful manner since it only asks about an easy good act where one can build oneself up to doing those more difficult good acts later. It puts one in one's niche or giftedness since what I find easy may be a thousand times difficult for someone else.

But this is just a proposal to what can be already theological in nature. Since the whole process can be a prayer or communication with the Blessed Virgin Mary already and thus borders on grace that escapes what is measurable, which is beyond our senses already.

Powerpointing Revisited

 Due to severe psychological deficiencies and incapacities, mental illness, and the habituating effect of sins that makes normal psychological and physical processes very difficult, not to mention delusion bordering on the demonic, I revert to saying that powerpointing will help systematize feedback or measuring behavioral changes.

However as powerpointing becomes normalized, the said abnormal population need to revert back to not using powerpointing anymore as I've described in this article link. We are not pure animals that classical conditioning should apply to us, that is why, because we are rather rational animals.

A video below of Dr. Andrew Huberman saying that reward system has made some of us incapable accomplishing real feats:

How to Avoid Becoming Bisexual

 With practice or repetition as the mother of all learning, you become what you always do.

I have my own sins don't get me wrong, I've said it time and again that I'm not still winning against this unchastity. That is why I have to prepare for marriage.

But I know someone who became bisexual in his old age, leaving his wife and kids and running away with his lover. You see as I've said time and again that stopping any kind of unchastity is the answer. In my case not imagining making love with my beloved is the answer. This world is very difficult already to live. And then you'll add to that the burden of sexual release every now and then during the day. What will happen to someone old enough not to become weak in the process. Abstaining from sexual activities, including impure thinking, is the answer. Live a clean life who has nothing to do with sex in any manner. For some time this has to be done if you have to listen to your former sexual addicts at Sexaholics Anonymous. Of course you are not that strong yet. Then at least control it. It is giving in to any kind of emotion that has been encouraged by this stupid world that you have to be careful about. Our Lord has laid it down already 2,000 years ago. Do you believe the Creator or any kind of new age movement that just popped out like mushrooms last night?

When I have a relapse that happens maybe 3 more times every week, my body gets weak it can't even draw the line from women and gay sending positive regards to me. But when I only relapse maybe 0-1 time per week, sexual activity is not an existing thing and I'm enjoying my life. Go get your fix learning how dopamine depletion affects us severely. Thanks to all the true experts out there sharing these findings. A healthy lifestyle coupled with living the principles of chastity we've enumerated here, will go a long way, build up your life and careers and hobbies. Don't throw out those strength in unchastity. Only married couples should do sexual activities inside the sacrament of marriage.

(Please include all day and all night long romance to be avoided. Since our principles here states that if marriage is  not in prospect, romance has no place in one's life yet.)

St. Augustine, Patron of Sexual Addicts, pray for us!

They Rebel Instead

 Most of the people in the world are toying with sex nowadays.

And they have not anything we know here about.

Instead of doing the good acts they can easily do here and now, because of the deep dissatisfaction of a romance that has not the sanctifying power of the sacrament of marriage, they rebel instead.

I'm coursing Youtube for still sane and sober songs, those which still has some acceptable quality, a humane touch, if not totally christian. I found dark ones instead, those that has completely controlled reason by emotion just to make such broken heart do its thing. From its lyrics to its dark videos, you will sense that it has totally lost all hope and that there is nothing good left to do after the lost love.

One can completely lose all faith in God, instead of being able to pursue good romance, just because the fruit went sour. So be careful about the ground your trodding. You may tell me it may not happen to you. Please don't. You don't know what you're talking about. And it's as if your partner wouldn't commit such insane acts too just because they're the one who left you.

The commandment of God is not something new, but it's not old. It is applicable at our present modern situation. Read on on my writings.

What to do if there is no romance?

 We've said time and again that romantic loving is only for married couples since they can totally and completely satisfy it. Review details of it in my previous articles. Then what should one do with one's life without romance? "What good can you easily do here and now? Do it."

The dissatisfaction caused by romantic loving cannot be satisfied with anything but married life. And so time and again we advice singles and even those already looking for marriage partner to stay in friendship zone only. The only thing that can satisfy single lives are the ones that are accomplishable by them. And those are the morally good acts that can fulfill a single's life like developing one's career, helping others, pursuing one's passion, continuously learning homemaking, etc. These are what will make a single's life happy, and not romantic loving which only add to one's dissatisfaction. Besides, those are the one's that will fully prepare one to marriage responsibilities. And so, while becoming happy, you also become prepared for marriage. The more you prepare the more earlier you'll be able to enter and fulfill marriage responsibilities, if it is what you need, especially if you need to fulfill the counsel of St. Paul to marry than be aflamed with passion.

Hail Mary, full of grace...

Out of Sync Romantic Relationship

 Dr. Andrew Huberman is so popular today discussing dopamine depletion. And if you're romantically fantasizing with your absent partner who is not your marriage partner yet, there will be depletion of dopamine, but without total and complete giving of each other. And if you're romantically fantasizing without your partner, there will be depletion of dopamine, there will be no total and complete giving of one's self, and the other partner who should have benefited from such artificial giving hasn't even been informed. The latter produces thus an out of sync romantic relationship. I'm not saying it's better to have mutual stimulation of romantic partners who are away from each other and are not yet married. I am saying that all kinds of romantic loving should be situated appropriately inside marriage. Thus the no romantic loving rule is the name of the game for singles and partially for those who are courting already, a befriending kind of game only, where innocence and trusts fully blooms.

So those who are ready for marriage for example hold hands while walking together in public, creates a bonding time, without any sinfulness. While those who are married partner totally and completely give each other to sexual intercourse. Thus both partner holds dear whatever has happened. To make an in sync romantic relationship, sin should be avoided, while preparing, during, and even after marriage. The Catholic Church has always taught from the very beginning that sexual intercourse outside marriage is a sin. Even married people having extra marital affairs knows that their romantic relationship is out of sync. It's an issue of sin and distrusts that we should not psychologically confuse with difficult terminologies just because we believe that religion is not scientific. Premarital sex is another sin which is somewhat not part of this article to discuss about.

Facebook Dating

 Yes, Facebook is the most used social platform in the entire universe, if there are no aliens. I don't mean the dating app of Facebook. Just the simple hi and hello of those people around Facebook who are friends of friends maybe, and are already looking for a marriage partner.

As a xennial, the last analog and first digital generation, I say that Clash of Clans is virtual compared to Facebook which is real. To those generations that did not experience an analog world, I say, don't confuse the two as if there is no difference. What you do on Facebook is real, as in you're in the real world. Don't play with people's feelings. Even though Clash of Clans may or may not have psychological effects on gamers, still Clash of Clans gaming is on a virtual level, not real. Playing with people's feelings as if its just a game that did not won or did not materialize, invites troubles and wrath from God because God hates falsehood.

Truth or truthfulness is the virtue which consists in showing oneself true in deeds and truthful in words, and guarding against duplicity, dissimulation, and hypocrisy. . . . Respect for the reputation and honor of persons forbids all detraction and calumny in word or attitude.

—CCC, nos. 2505 and 2507

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

—Ex 20:16

You're worried if someone you're talking to might be a scammer. But not all Facebook users are scammers that you can play with because they might be just playing with you. What is the solution? Simply tell them the truth that you are not sure about their identity. And the other person can do something to prove his or her sincerity and prove the allegations as false.

May God help us in this era of deeper digitization of things. That he might send people to correct errors and abuses, and that He might help us live His commandments in this new world, in Jesus name. Amen.

Romantic Loving For Those All Ready Looking For A Marriage Partner

 Let's just say romantic loving is not a problem for married people because they can express it appropriately, fully, and completely.

Let's just say romantic loving is not for singles not yet prepared for marriage.

But romantic loving seems a balancing act for those prepared already for marriage and already looking for a marriage partner.

We've said before that befriending and not romancing should be the general atmosphere for the latter (let's just call them All Ready).

All Ready just wants to know the girl first before anything (though he showed a picture that he's infatuated with her). But she didn't even accepted his friend request on Facebook. The girl just gives a hint at her wall postings which All Ready assumes is for him (though he knows her suitors might be many). Of course this is how male human beings have to behave as a suitor, showing some affection but not yet fully, bearing the pain of rejection in the end if busted. Of course busted male human beings cry after being rejected by a woman, but in private, after making clear to her that he likes her without any chance of being received positively, after being ganged up by rival suitors, after future planning every night on his next move, future life with her, and all for nothing. Despite this All Ready don't bear any grudges for the woman. What an idiosyncrasy! That is why they have this masculine characteristics of strength! All Ready was caught off-guard. He thought he was just to have a friendly relation. 

So, let's just say that romantic loving for those looking for a marriage partner is a very complex phenomena, and not just a balancing act whether to stop romancing or continue, to show some or just befriend. So those looking for a wife, I say, be prepared fellow male human beings!

Now those who are single former sexual addicts should review the no-romantic-loving rule, and those who are familiar with it, and are now prepared for marriage this is what I have to say:

Romantic loving for those All Ready looking for a marriage partner is more of a skill and an art that cannot be boxed into a simple two choices do or don't.

The No-Romantic-Life Rule Revisited

I am having the times of my life, until I accidentally saw her on Facebook. I have been pruning my previous unrequited attraction for 5 years. Pity me! And then here I go again. I was too crazy for wanting to marry her already even we don't know yet each other. And even my financial preparation and other projects are to give way to this untimely attractions. So be it, hah! (I am still though reflecting on whether my financial preparation for marriage is already out of context and rather ruining the counsel of St. Paul to marry rather than burn with passion.) I am just crying every night, and wonder if my pillow is still dry. So on and so forth.

I've laid off my unpublished book on purpose to get a better perspective. (It is free to download and is in four downloadable parts.) I found out, it seems, that the no-romantic-life rule for singles who are ready for marriage is too rigorous. Read number 7. Asking God for a girlfriend but in purity of friendship and not much of romances. for a short description of the no-romantic-life rule.

Of course someone who is already prepared for marriage will look for someone he/she is attracted to. Just the word "attracted to" is laden with heavy emotions. And we remind men to choose according to nobility of character and not just according to attractions since it's easy to loose their mind.

More so, who can loose their minds, are former sexual addicts who are already prepared for marriage and looking for marriage partners.

But we don't mean to denigrate choosing according to attraction, which is what seems to be the main tone of my writings. It is not. God most surely made ladies very beautiful in the eyes of men. I am  just reminding my target audience, who are sexual addicts, to be wary of romance and not make it get the best out of  them, which I already have carefully discussed in my unpublished book in details.

The no-romantic-life rule for a single in general is therefore appropriate and not rigorous.

However it does not apply to married individuals and those looking for marriage partner.

A reservation then for those looking for marriage partner should be clarified since they are still single and cannot and should not make romance lead to its final expression which is sexual intercourse/communion.

Do you get now how difficult it is for single former sexual addicts to separate romance from its final culmination in sexual intercourse?

That is why the no-romantic-life rule sounds very rigorous, but it's not.

Go download again my four part unpublished book for free and remind yourself about the details of the no-romantic-life rule especially if you are a sexual addict or former who are already looking for your marriage partner.

Go ask ChatGpt what factor best influences success in having a marriage partner. And you will get answers in the line of shared values and interests, open and honest communication, proximity and availability, personal qualities, and compatibity in life goals, which seems very far from romance which is the main focus of sexual addicts. 

While inflation is eating your hard earned money which isn't even yet enough for a marriage, frustration with your preparation for marriage is a very lethal chemical when combined with desiring for romance or your need to have a marriage partner. It can create a nuclear bomb that shatter one's life. That is why I proposed the no-romantic-life rule for singles, and counsels former repentant sexual addicts to trust God's plan for their marriage and wait super patiently.

I pray that God gives you strength in your struggles with unrequited attraction and love. I pray that God may have mercy and bless you already with a wife/husband, in Jesus name.

St. Raphael, patron of healing and happy meeting of singles, pray for us.

How do you handle unrequited love?

Do you believe Chicago's phrase song that "...even lovers need a holiday, far away, from each other..." which has some connections with our no-romantic-life rule?

Share your comments below.