modified 21 September 2020
Required reading:
(The following and succeeding other articles discusses about sexual addiction and delusion without any physiologic causes or substance abuse related.)
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. -John 8:32
If there is anything best to motivate us from healing our sexual addiction completely, it is the thought of being set free, like a bird from a cage, from the chains and bondage of sexual addiction. I want to be free.
Jesus is the truth. He is not just about to set us free from ignorance, but from sin in all its form.
Sexual fantasies of sexual addicts become compulsive too not just the act that attains to orgasm. (That is why Catholic Tradition teaches to nip temptations in the bud. There should be no relapse to impure thoughts not just on the sinful act that ensues from it.) It becomes in time a self injected delusion. The fact is even the expert cannot easily differentiate normal delusion from what is psychotic already. And it's a very frightening fact. Read Part 1 of my unpublished book to differentiate recurrence from relapse. Recurrence being a continued temptations of the devil but you're not entertaining, and you just continue on with your life. Relapse is you gave in to the temptation, entertained it, and released your orgasm with your favorite sexual activity. In every recurrence you should use the simple question asked by Our Lady, "What good can you easily do here and now? Do it.", and every time the temptation repeats itself. The question is more of a moral question of what is good, it is not just a psychological technique, the good is in general term to be specified for your own personal life there and then.
So what?
"...Delusions are significant precisely because they make sense for the believer and are held to be evidentially true, often making them resistant to change...Given the proposed function of reconsolidation, in driving automaticity of behavior it is argued that in an aberrant prediction error system, delusional beliefs rapidly become inflexible habits." - [emphasis mine] Conclusion, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3016695/
As is often quoted of Aristotle, we don't just become what we repeatedly do, but "we are what we repeatedly do." This second nature is very frightening if vice becomes resistant to change or an inflexible habit, but a joy if virtue becomes very easy and fluid.
A normal human being then ought to rejoice in his gift of reason that simply knows what is true. We can identify persons for example with real delusional/paranoid disorder or psychosis if we know that what he/she is saying is just a lie which is only true for him/her. PsychCentral Encyclopedia of Psychology defines delusion below
An unshakable theory or belief in something false and impossible, despite evidence to the contrary. Examples of some of the most common types of delusions are: Delusions of persecution or paranoia – Belief that others — often a vague “they” — are out to get him or her. https://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/delusion/
Sexual addiction pushes this sexual fantasies to the delusional level to achieve higher level of satisfaction. To normal people a lie remains a lie however we lie to ourselves that it seems so good to be true. Thanks to our brain's great capacity to simply know what is true. And never loose that sanity. How? (The two means below are comparable to CBT's calm breathing and challenging your negative thinking for preventing relapse.) For us normal but sexual addicts, we know that our sexual fantasies are just simply pigments of our imagination and it is not true. As CBT often tells us, it is just our thought, and it may not necessarily be true always. Normally we verify first before we believe, but by sexual fantasies we tend to believe even though it isn't true since it is pleasurable, which is very dangerous to our sanity if it is in the addictive level.
1. If it is just a self-created delusion and not a real psychosis, sexual addiction then can be helped by Diaphragmatic Breathing Technique For Anxiety Sufferers which is taken up also by a journal The Phrenic Component of Acute Schizophrenia meaning if acute schizophrenic can be helped by stable cardio-respiratory function and respiratory physiology and autonomic function, then so much more will it help normal or just induced delusion. Why we can't control our addictions whatever it is? Perhaps because of air pollution we have forgotten our diaphragm breathing reflex when we were born and subconsciously adapted shallow breathing since if it is a 24 hour air pollution, 365 days a year, then habit can be formed. It's early to say clean air will be a key to controlling our addicted minds, and if we want to stop we will be able to stop simply, and live normal lives. It is enough for now to practice diaphragmatic breathing coupled by being physically active. How Exercise Can Help You Beat Addiction You may want to learn Tai Chi for Health if your body is too tired or you're too old for strenuous exercise and you need it for relapse prevention. Just make sure to never delve into the meditative or spiritual side of it as it might contradict our Catholic faith. (The human aura are pseudoscience while the Catholic belief about halo of saints for example are already spiritual not physical anymore, reminding us to be holy as Christ is holy not through esoteric means to achieve good Qi or Chakra.) We need though its breathing and physical act, the slow movement being unique and not present in other exercises or physical activities. The balancing and relaxation technique it implies is one of its kind. Take note though that it focuses on the movement not on the breathing which automatically adjusts itself, not the other way around like Wim Hof's hyperventilation technique for extreme necessity like extreme cold adaptation, or fighting depression during winter. I favor though Tai Chi since it is natural to the movement of the body and somewhat similar to the findings of the journal that cardio-respiratory stabilizing can be of help for delusion. However if you can't even do Tai Chi at the moment, perhaps diaphragmatic breathing is all that is left, while making up later for the physical exercise. In short be physically active. Deep breathing, Tai Chi are one of the easiest but you can progress further to whatever resources you have and your body longs for like swimming, hiking, or bodybuilding if you're fit and able. Both Wim Hof, and Tai Chi are out in the sun with nature, be outdoor and hike if you want.
2. First of all be warned,
"In temptations against chastity, the spiritual masters advise us, not so much to contend with the bad thought, as to turn the mind to some spiritual, or, at least, indifferent object. It is useful to combat other bad thoughts face to face, but not thoughts of impurity."-http://www.traditionalcatholicpriest.com/2017/10/07/bad-thoughts-st-alphonsus/I've learned about Rob Williams The Psychology of Change, and although Women of Grace tells that it is New Age and that its muscle testing a pseudo-science, I got some of its ideas. You'll realize you've interconnected all these wrong belief system to work against you and make you stay as a sexual addict. Hey, you've been nursing all these wrong belief system so that what you sexually fantasize will come to reality as your subconscious intention. You'll never amount to anything, you'll never find that girl you like, you'll never get married since you can't get enough finances for family life since you don't have good education and you can't even develop your career up to now because you wouldn't know what you really wanted to do in your life. For would be or rapist and perverts of all kinds, the inner script can be, "She's now being hooked by your subconscious suggestions. It'll be just days before she gives in to you" (of course you're sexually fantasizing about the wife of your neighbor which is immoral). Invite all these interlocking wrong belief or self-injected delusions, but stop the sexual fantasy elements, and then focus on the positive statement while the negative is challenging it like "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)." "Finally, after challenging a negative thought and evaluating it more objectively, try to come up with an alternative thought that is more balanced and realistic." This of course will create a questioning environment prone to the temptations of the devil and you might find yourself entertaining the sexual fantasy elements rather than processing those wrong beliefs that triggers it. But by way of prayer, this kind of psycho-spiritual battle is won, and is outside the capacity of mere psychology. But relax because Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33). It might not even be the devil and just your wrong belief you have subscribed to rather than to your Catholic faith. The devil doesn't bother with unrepentant sinners, and is just laughing at the sight of a sinner stumbling upon one's created blocks. Jesus is the Truth telling us to live chaste lives. Your marriage might not yet be coming but He is preparing something better than the marriage that you have in your mind. It might be that your neighbor's wife is fond of you because your wife tells her how good a husband you are. These thoughts being more than factual truths are the object delusional sexual addicts wants convoluted. A question "What good can you easily do here and now? Do it!" is being posed to get us back to reality squarely, in thought and in deed.
Supplemental Spiritual Explanation from Fr. Spitzer, Choose the date 2018-12-05, Finish and learn from his line of thought, why with this sexual perversions we have nowadays, we need supernatural help by receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist.
Continuing on our line of thought, what I've pounded here again and again is to act positively rather than just avoid evil. Focus on something you want to do with your life, what you are passionate about. And our behavioral modification task (or shall we say cognitive behavioral modification since you'll have to answer the question) starts very simply, "What good can you easily do here and now?"
I can't find the quote but I think it's G.K. Chesterton who said that ideas make us think that we have done them already but in reality have not yet done anything at all. That's why a simple easy task is best to get us going. There is no limit rather to what good we can do, we just simply started it out. In their field of endeavors many can motivate us, an Arnold Schwarzenegger in body building, a Michael Jordan in basketball, a Michael Jackson in singing, a Steven Spielberg in filmaking, or even a Mark Zuckerberg in programming. They're focused on something good they want to do; they don't just stop evil or avoid sexual addiction because there is no joy in it. St. Thomas Aquinas wrote the Summa; he did not simply had an Angelic chastity belt and stopped there. Although we may not achieve the highness they have achieved our uniqueness, and the inspiration of simple everyday people doing good on local levels, are quiet as impressive if not as successful as others, rest assured that our small achievements in life is not dismissed by a loving God as insulting. Life is beautiful. Open yourself up to its experience, and never say that what only gives you pleasure is a sexual release.
Subconscious, in my opinion, are bundles of our habit and can be vicious or virtuous, philosophically speaking. Subconscious is not just wrong beliefs to be challenged by education. They are also sets of incapacity and lack of skill to be won by capacitation and training. Those things are all tackled up by good habit formation or virtuous living. Building good habits starts by way of doing it. The way they became a habit is that we repetitively did an act in the past, and it took time for these to become automatic, which will take time also to unlearn by using those vicious neuronal paths for virtuous acts. These psychological findings should also take up Ethics, so that it would not just want what the world wants but God's will. We can be nailed to the cross while doing what is good. It all enters into the science of theology where sin and grace is tackled up. What is good about Rob Williams processing is that it puts the devil into the open, questioning them rather than believing the lies, since you've been reentering sexual addiction and living with your delusions again. Then follow it with a reading of our literature on chastity. I leave though to your Catholic discretion how we repent, go to Confession, etc. In the spiritual battle there is this Woman who crushed the serpent's head. And in our Miraculous Medal prayer, she alone have destroyed all heresies (wrong beliefs or sinful lifestyle) in the world. Curing our sexual addiction psychologically alone while ditching the Blessed Virgin Mary's help as ineffective or mere fabrications puts us in the hand of a powerful enemy the devil a fallen angel whose intelligence is way above us.
Here is a balanced way of looking at fantasizing good things as part of our daily lives. The interview article suggest to outgrow some of the fantasies as unrealizable in this world as we age, but have to use some of our fantasies to get clues to our own advantage yet have to be careful though. However visualization techniques are so elementary and we are to remember that it is contained in our reasoning ability. Suffice it to remember St. John Paul IIs reminder to "trust in the power of human reason" and that "there is to be found the satisfying answer to every question as yet unanswered" (Art. 56, 17 Fides et Ratio) Thus in the question "What good can you easily do here and now?" such process of ethical thinking enlightened by faith has the primary obligation embedded in our daily lives compared to mere visualizations since reasoning already has incorporated in it the capacity to imagine. However for the sake of healing, we may have to use repeatedly visualizations as the need arise, so that healed and forgiven, all our senses can function normally again freed from the bondage of servitude. Further reflection though takes us to the idea that visualization drags the formed habit to slow down, and rather than help, formed habit becomes annoyed of it. Suffice it to use imagination as normally as we reason out (wholistically), in meditation, etc.
The final part of this article is about self-hypnosis. What I am about to redefine is just theoretical but can be proven true due to its firm basis. Here it is: Compulsion is negative self-hypnosis practiced so many times that it took already the form of habit, and a bad one. Before giving the link to self-hypnotherapy, if hypnosis has a pseudo-scientific meaning for you there are a lot of explanations out there what hypnosis is and what it is not, just google them. Here is a link to a short Catholic ethical guide to hypnosis. In short we are about to use self-hypnotherapy ethically here to combat sexual addiction. If you are a sexual addict or a repentant one then you belong to the population percentage more inclined to be hypnotized. You've been doing your sexual addiction for so long that perhaps it's time now to set ourselves free. I want to be free. I trust Jesus will heal me, and will bless me with good marriage to properly use this sexual capacity of mine worthily. Focus on the Cross where our Loving Lord died to save and heal us from our sinfulness. You may want to really believe in the positive affirmation you'll be using, since on the contrary as Marisa Peer explains to us that like the statement "My Boss is killing me" our mind's tendency is to believe it and kicks up the survival instinct making you so sick to go to work again. (Might as well couple Marisa Peer with some moderate realism unless positivism leads to nihilism when hard reality hits us according to St. John Paul II. It's a kind of thinking that is based on reality not just on what you believe is real. If the proposition is true, then it is real, and you should believe it even you don't want to, that which seems to be the position of Marisa Peers.) You might as well want to investigate self-hypnosis at bed before falling asleep as the best time to access and change the subconscious they say, and which should be guarded by us all to visualize good things we want to accomplish not the other way around like doing our sexual fantasizing that further pins down to the subconscious or delusional level our sexual lies. Please click on the link or download one of YouTube's self-hypnosis to stop sexual addiction, just review it first before permitting yourself to be hypnotized. Additional informations and warnings about hypnotherapy from Women of Grace
Steps to Self-Hypnosis
Thus, I want to awaken in us our love for catholic meditation. There are a lot of traditions and variations out there. Special mention: If your praying the rosary as mere vocal prayer then you're doing it wrong. "A very important point is that the heart of the Rosary is not the repetition of these prayers, but our meditation upon the mysteries of the lives of Jesus and Mary during each decade."
A reading of the Word of God, a spiritual reading, a favorite verse, where we focus on one or two lines to remember and carry with us throughout the day according to St. John Vianney. This one or two lines are what touched us, the Spirit guiding us what to focus on for the day. Repeating the verse or statement that touched us all throughout the day is a kind of praying without ceasing, while you can apply this to your day that even the Focolare Movement of Chiara Lubich has proven is applicable in our daily concerns.
There you go the CBT technique explained and then synthetically done via self-hypnosis, but is actually one of our Catholic tradition of meditating on the Lord's Word. With a side thought that the subconscious is carried over to the conscious active life without dispensing the help of grace as unhelpful, such technique that we are doing traditionally may really already be beyond healing sexual addiction but it has the firm basis of being able to do so as we have elaborated here.
A final point I have not discussed here is from a newadvent.org link below which discusses compulsion as a form of Demonic obsession that needs deliverance though not exorcism.
Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, pray for us!
Meditation has a double finality, one intellectual and the other affective and practical...According to theolgians, one can recite vocal prayer and even go to Mass and still remain in mortal sin. But no one can meditate daily and remain in mortal sin. -https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/resources/prayers/how-to-pray/meditation/guide-to-meditation
A reading of the Word of God, a spiritual reading, a favorite verse, where we focus on one or two lines to remember and carry with us throughout the day according to St. John Vianney. This one or two lines are what touched us, the Spirit guiding us what to focus on for the day. Repeating the verse or statement that touched us all throughout the day is a kind of praying without ceasing, while you can apply this to your day that even the Focolare Movement of Chiara Lubich has proven is applicable in our daily concerns.
There you go the CBT technique explained and then synthetically done via self-hypnosis, but is actually one of our Catholic tradition of meditating on the Lord's Word. With a side thought that the subconscious is carried over to the conscious active life without dispensing the help of grace as unhelpful, such technique that we are doing traditionally may really already be beyond healing sexual addiction but it has the firm basis of being able to do so as we have elaborated here.
A final point I have not discussed here is from a newadvent.org link below which discusses compulsion as a form of Demonic obsession that needs deliverance though not exorcism.
Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, pray for us!
Added 1 November 2022
Additional notes on the Silva Method:
